Becoming part of the solution

4 Minute read

In the intricate web of human emotions, anger often takes centre stage. It surges forth like a tempest, but is it truly the primary force behind our emotional turbulence? Delving deeper into the undercurrents of our feelings, one might find that anger is not the root cause, but rather a manifestation of something more profound.

In the tapestry of our emotional landscape, anger is but a thread, woven into the fabric of our experiences. It arises not in isolation but as a reaction to deeper, subtler emotions that simmer beneath the surface. When we examine the source of anger, we often discover that it is not anger itself that fuels our reactions, but rather the profound sadness or disappointment that lurks beneath the surface. Anger, it seems, is a construct, a response to these underlying emotions that build up over time.

Consider the scenario where someone denies us what we seek or criticises our efforts. In these moments, anger may flare up instantly, but if we pause and reflect, we realise that it isn’t anger alone driving our response. It is the implication that we are somehow flawed, not good enough, or imperfect that stirs the embers of anger. Anger becomes the guardian of our wounded self-esteem, rising to defend against the perceived threat to our adequacy.

This begs the question: Why do we allow ourselves to be governed by anger? Why do we permit it to take the reins of our emotional responses? The answer lies in our deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and powerlessness. When confronted with a situation we can’t change, we feel small and impotent, much like a child who cannot alter the course of events. This powerlessness engenders anger as a defence mechanism—a futile attempt to regain control.

But there is a different path, a wiser approach. Instead of letting anger consume us, we must acknowledge the boundaries of our influence. It’s essential to discern what we can change and what lies beyond our grasp. Acceptance of this fundamental truth can lead us to make choices that promote positivity in our lives.

This is not to suggest that we should passively accept everything that transpires. Rather, it underscores the importance of channelling our efforts effectively. If we choose to champion a cause or raise awareness about an issue, we should do so with a positive and constructive attitude. Spewing anger and negativity only alienates those around us and undermines the credibility of our message.

Forgiveness, too, takes on a nuanced meaning in this context. While we may wish for others to forgive us and seek forgiveness ourselves, we cannot force this process. Forgiveness is a journey that individuals must embark upon independently. What we can do is take responsibility for our actions, seek to rebuild trust through deeds and attitudes, and give time its due to mend the wounds we’ve caused.

In the end, the core message is clear: negativity breeds anger, and anger begets more negativity. To break this cycle, we must consciously choose positivity and acceptance. It is in this wisdom that we find the path to emotional maturity and the ability to navigate the intricate realm of human emotions with grace and resilience.

Written by Stephen Griffin and ChatGPT