Becoming part of the solution

The age-old wisdom that suggests it is better to be happy or fulfilled than to be right holds a profound truth about the way we navigate our lives. At first glance, it may seem counterintuitive, as being right often carries a sense of accomplishment and validation. However, this essay will delve into the underlying significance of this wisdom and argue that knowing, rather than being right, should be our primary objective. It will explore the instances where standing one’s ground becomes necessary for the greater good and, conversely, where the ego often compels us to prioritize being right over finding fulfillment. The dichotomy between these two values becomes especially pronounced in the context of relationships, such as ugly divorces, where the ego’s need to be right can hinder the pursuit of happiness and fulfillment.

To grasp the essence of the wisdom that it is better to be happy or fulfilled than to be right, we must first understand the importance of knowing. Knowledge transcends the mere acquisition of facts; it encompasses wisdom, empathy, and a profound understanding of oneself and the world. In many situations, knowing the truth or understanding the consequences of our actions should take precedence over the need to prove oneself right. This is particularly true when the pursuit of truth and understanding aligns with the greater good or the well-being of ourselves and others.

However, the ego often acts as an obstacle to this pursuit. The ego seeks validation and thrives on being right, as it provides a temporary boost to one’s self-esteem. It often convinces us that being right is more important than being happy or fulfilled. When we prioritise the ego’s desire for validation, we will compromise our well-being and the quality of our relationships. Predictably, the ego resists acknowledging errors or entertaining different perspectives, as it fears becoming redundant when we outgrow these misconceptions.

There are instances where standing one’s ground is not only justified but essential for the greater good. Convictions rooted in values, ethics, and principles can guide us to make choices that benefit society, our communities, or ourselves in the long run. In these cases, the pursuit of knowledge and understanding becomes paramount, as it equips us with the wisdom to discern when to hold firm and when to adapt.

The skill of living a fulfilled life lies in our ability to decipher important matters from the chaff. It requires the humility to acknowledge that we don’t have all the answers and the courage to admit when we are wrong. Fulfilment often arises from meaningful connections, personal growth, and a sense of purpose—all of which can be hindered by the ego’s insistence on being right.

Nowhere is the conflict between being right or being happy more pronounced than in the breakdown of relationships, particularly in the context of an ugly divorce. In such situations, the ego often takes center stage, as both parties become determined to prove themselves right. This fixation on being right prolongs the emotional turmoil and prevents a swift, amicable resolution. The ego fights tenaciously to avoid the perceived humiliation of admitting fault or compromising.

In resume we can say prioritising happiness and understanding over being right is vital. Be ware the ego often hinders this balance, especially in relationships where we always feel the most pain when they go awry.