Becoming part of the solution

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In the fast-paced and often chaotic world we live in, the desire for control is a deeply ingrained instinct within us. We want to shape our surroundings, control our destinies, and ensure that everything goes according to plan. However, there is a different perspective, one that encourages us to relinquish control and embrace authenticity. The idea is that when we stop trying to manipulate people and circumstances, we discover that things tend to work out better on their own. This essay will explore the wisdom in this perspective and why it can be difficult to implement.

One of the fundamental challenges we face is recognising the illusion of control. In a world of billions of people, each living in their own reality, the idea of controlling external factors is unrealistic. The only person we truly have control over is ourselves. The journey towards authenticity starts with realising this essential truth. It’s about acknowledging that most external elements are beyond our grasp and accepting this fact with grace.

The futility of manipulation is like trying to force pieces of a jigsaw puzzle to fit where they don’t belong. When we attempt to control or manipulate people and situations, it’s akin to trying to force puzzle pieces into places they were never designed for. Just as with the puzzle, our efforts often result in a distorted image that doesn’t reflect the intended picture. The energy we expend trying to manipulate stems from fear, and, just like the puzzle pieces, it distorts the outcome, often creating a mess of unintended consequences such as damage to the overall cohesion and trust.

When we relinquish control and focus on being authentic, a remarkable transformation occurs. Being authentic means interacting with others without trying to mould them according to our desires. It means accepting people as they are, without judgment or manipulation. Authenticity fosters honest and meaningful connections, allowing us to build trust and deepen relationships. It’s about being yourself, caring for others, and navigating life as it unfolds.

However, embracing authenticity requires courage. It means letting go of preconceived notions and the need to protect oneself at all times. This does not mean being naïve or neglecting your interests. It means being forthright about your needs and boundaries without trying to impose them on others. If a situation or relationship is dysfunctional, authentic self-awareness might lead to making difficult choices. While this can be challenging, it often results in more positive outcomes.

A surprising outcome of embracing authenticity is the ripple effect it creates. As we grow into more positive and authentic individuals, our environment begins to change as well. Negative behaviours and attitudes from others often stem from our own negativity, both towards them and ourselves. When we let go of these negative patterns, we find that others respond in kind. Our growth encourages their growth, fostering a more positive and considerate environment. In a world that often compels us to control and manipulate, the path to authenticity can be liberating. When we realise that control is an illusion and that authentic interactions lead to better outcomes, we can start living a more fulfilling life. It takes courage to embrace authenticity and let go of the need to control, but the rewards are profound. As we become more authentic, we inspire positive change in our surroundings, transforming not only ourselves but the world around us. So, in the end, the only person we need to control is ourselves, and that begins with being authentic.

Written by Stephen Griffin & ChatGPT